Saturday, 4 January 2014

A moment of nostalgia, a past crisis of confidence

I stopped writing songs some few years ago now.

It was once very important to me. But then we hit a crisis in the Band back in 2004 and out of that I realised it was the performance, not the composing that really mattered. I didn't much care what I had to sing, I just wanted the validation of an audience to listen.

The band, every once in a while, try to persuade me to start writing again. But I think those days are gone. These days we play covers. Anything from Van Morrison through to Snow Patrol. Whatever takes our fancy. There seems to be a market for it. Though there was an equal market for our own stuff, back when I was still writing. We were never short of a gig or an audience, even if it was never going to pay for the mortgage.

That, perhaps, was the reason for my failure making it as a professional musician. What rock star has a mortgage to pay?

Though as far as the writing went, bottom line is that I lost confidence in myself, for many reasons, and got out of the habit. And writing is, if nothing else, a product of habit.

Though for all the crisis of confidence, I still love much of what we wrote and recorded together back then. The band has been going in one form or another since 1992, so there was a fair bit of it.

This song was written in 2001. I remember the year for many reasons. It was probably recorded a year later. It's not the best we recorded, but it's one of the song's I'm most fond of, for many reason.


And now I'm off out to tonight's gig.

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